21 Things I've Learned By 21

As I near my 22nd year, I find myself reflecting on the things that I have learned so far. It was difficult compacting the list to just 21 things but I hope this can be an encouraging post for you! You never stop learning and growing and I look forward to expanding this list. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you enjoy this post!

1) Own Up To Your Mistakes

There will be times when you mess up and do something you regret, accident or not. It happens. OWN IT! Apologize and take responsibility for it. Never ignore or try to shift blame somewhere else. You may think you are "fixing things" but you are really missing a valuable lesson that will ultimately help make you a better person. You are not setting a good example for others and you are setting yourself up for failure. Acknowledge your mistakes, make things right, and move forward.

2) Don't Let Society Dictate Who YOU are. (Know Your Worth.)

I was scrolling on Pinterest one day and saw this quote that said,

"Society: be yourself

Society: not like that."

Yes, you can laugh...or cry. This was written in a somewhat humorous way in order to shed light on a universal problem. This problem causes a domino effect of problems in our world / life whether we want to acknowledge it or not. The world is screaming at us and it can be heard to mute out all the noise and just listen to what truly matters. Society thinks they have the right to essentially try to run us and our lives. I am here to tell you to please reject that. It is exhausting to try and please society and it has no reward. Do not spend your life trying to keep up with these crazy, societal standards. The standards are always changing, anyway. KNOW YOUR WORTH. You do not need to be a certain way to be "normal" or accepted by anyone because the One that truly matters already accepts and loves you. God has shown you that you are enough, worthy, and special. Psalm 139:14 says that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." We were all created differently and from a standard that NEVER changes and holds meaning and worth. Never forget that.

3) Learn How To Genuinely Forgive

This can be one of the hardest things to do. Everyone will have moments where they are hurt and they can not imagine giving forgiveness that may be "undeserved". Choose to forgive. It may take time but it will be worth it. There is a quote that says, "Holding a grudge doesn't make you strong; It makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn't make you weak; It sets you free."

If our God had the heart to die and forgive an undeserving world, what is our excuse? We are only hurting ourselves if we hold on and do not allow ourselves to move forward. That type of attitude is poisonous and we really end up poisoning ourselves.

4) Be Kind

Everyone is going through things that you do not know anything about. Some people really need a little bit of kindness. Whatever it is and whatever you do, make it genuine. Be the good that you want to see in others. In a world where it is common for people to choose hate, stand out courageously. Simply, live and be kind.

5) Talk With Strangers

Some of the BEST conversations I have had and encouragement I have ever received have come from total strangers. It takes nothing say a friendly hello while your waiting in the store line or speak a kind word to someone. We are all on this earth together so why not meet someone new and spread some love?

6) Appreciate The People In Your Life

The people who are in your life are there for a reason. Do not take them for granted. They have all played a huge part in helping you with who you are and how far you have come. Life is a vapor and we are not promised tomorrow with those we love. Make the most of the precious time you have with them.

7) Be Content At Each Stage in Life

It can be easy to compare your stage of life to where someone else is. It may be tempting but that is a quick way to lose your joy. Everyone is different and everyone has gone through circumstances that has placed them where they are today. THRIVE where you are. Please do not make a competition out of life. We are not here to outdo each other, just ourselves. Work to be better than who you were before. Use your life stages as a platform to get you closer to your goals. Do not wish to be at a different place in life because "all your friends are there" or "you feel left out". Remember, everyone shines when it is THEIR time. Be patient, be content, and trust God's timing.

8) Go On Lots Of Coffee Dates.

If you know me, you know that I LOVE coffee and am always down for it. I have no clue why but whenever I go grab coffee with friends, I have the BEST conversations. I am talking like DEEP talks. Not only am I happy because I am sipping this magical drink but my mind and soul end up super refreshed. It is a win-win in my book. So, definitely go on coffee dates.

9) Never A Failure, Always A Lesson

Keep things positive! It is never truly a failure if you have learned something and are using it to become a better person. Of course you will make mistakes. You might fail a test in school, mess up a task at work, or say something hurtful to a friend. If you let yourself take on a negative attitude and unpack there without doing anything, then it IS a failure. To me, failure insinuates more than just doing something wrong. There is a mindset of worthlessness, a lack of effort, or an attitude of indifference. Do not let yourself get in that rut. If you learned something, it was not a waste of time. Try again. This time, with a better perspective.

10) Always Keep Things In Perspective

This is very similar to #9 and essentially the same idea. In all situations, make sure you look at the whole picture. Look at things in an appropriate light to everything else. Many times we miss things or end up causing problems because of not having the right perspective. You will often times save yourself so much grief. Take time to think through things clearly. I have really had to learn this through the years.

11) Embrace Change

This is definitely a hard one for me. Change, in situations both good and bad, can bring pain. It is new and unknown and I think that is what scares people the most. You have to embrace it. No rain, no flowers, right? If you want to grow and expand yourself, change is one of the best things for you! It teaches you SO much. It has helped me see that God is really in control and that is ALL that matters. Prepare how you need to but let change happen. You will be thankful for it, I promise.

12) Stop Judging

For some reason, humans love to negatively critique other people's lives. I don't know what the obsession is but it has ruined many relationships.

Philippians 4:8 reads, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

Is it honorable to judge others? Is it commendable? Is judging others worthy of praise?

I think you all get the point. Treat others how you would like to be treated.

13) Don't Forget To Read

Try not to slack off on the reading! I went through a period where I barely read and I wish I had not. My goal this year has been to get back to reading and I am excited to find out what books are waiting for me! (If you have any book suggestions, PLEASE send them to me!)

14) You Can't Pour From An Empty Cup

I have always been the type to drop everything for a friend, or even a stranger, in need. I love to give. Over the years, I have found it to be one of my greatest strengths but also one of my greatest weaknesses. If you are not remembering to take care of yourself, physically and mentally, you will not be giving anything beneficial. You can not bring light to someone else if yours is out. Take care of yourself. It is not selfish to make sure you are at a healthy place so you can be that giver.

15) Cry It Out

When I was in high school, I was SO embarrassed to cry in front of people. I would keep all my emotions inside and not let them out. They would build up and build up until I would have these emotional outbursts at random times. You should not ignore feelings even if it may seem like the "better" choice. Cry it out. Just make sure you deal with whatever is bothering you. Do not leave it unresolved or ignore it.

16) Let Go And Let God

Yup. This seems like such an easy thing to remember but I forget it more than I should. Let God show you how much he cares for you. He has got you, friend.

17) Pretty Heart > Pretty Face

"Beauty is in the way you hold yourself. It's how you treat people. The way you love. It's self acceptance. Beauty is in your soul. If you think you're any more of a person because your face is nice you need a reality check."

I found that quote a couple years ago and it still gets to me. We get so caught up in putting all our effort in physical beauty that we end up letting our soul get ugly. I love putting outfits together and playing with makeup but that will not matter if it is the only thing I care about. A pretty outside should never trump a pretty inside.

18) Be Random. (Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone)

We can be our own worst enemy sometimes. Be spontaneous! Try something new! You will never grow if you refuse to try something different. Karen Salmansohn said, "The best things in life are often waiting for you at the exit ramp of your comfort zone". Take a leap of faith.

19) You Are NEVER Too Old For Mom and Dad

I am looking at all you "independent" ones! ;) I am almost finished with college and there has not been a day that I have not called them to talk, cry, or get advice. Growing older has just made me realize how much more I need them. We are continuing to grow and change but you can not "outgrow" parents.

20) Treat Everybody Like A Somebody

The world might not be full of your "friends" but it is full of people. These people may have similarities to you and others may be completely different. No matter what it is, we all have a heart. We all have emotions and feelings and it is never an option to treat someone like dirt. Leave people better than you found them. Treat everybody like a somebody. <3

21) Always Be Genuine

There is no need for more fake people or silly pretenses. The world has enough of all of that. Be real. Be who you say you are and do what you say you'll do. ( @ me to post when I say I will. LOL.)